Sky Smith watched her friend Rani at work in Sarah-Jane’s
kitchen. She knew that Rani was a talented journalist, of course, but
it was a total surprise to learn that she was also skilled at making exotic
food like samosas – both vegetarian and meat filled, and fragrant,
crisp onion bhajis.
“I helped my dad make samosas since I was about four,” she
explained. “My job was to brush egg around the edge of the pastry
to seal them. When I was older I was allowed to spoon the filling onto
them and fold them over. Dad wouldn’t let me put them in the fryer
until I was twelve, though.”
Rani stopped reminiscing. There was a look on Sky’s face. A childhood
like that was the very thing she had never had, of course. Sarah-Jane
had given her a good, happy, loving home, but she couldn’t give
her memories like that.
“You can do the egg around the edges if you like,” she suggested.
Sky grinned and looked for the pastry brush.
“Funny,” she said, looking around the wide centre island of
workspace. “It was there before. I brushed the edges of all those
wretched little vol au vent cases.”
She wasn’t regretting saying she could handle the buffet food for
the pre-Christmas party while Sarah-Jane attended a meeting at UNIT’s
not-so-secret headquarters in the Tower of London. It was simple enough.
The vol au vents, cocktail sausage rolls and other party treats were in
the freezer ready to bake. It was just a matter of organising the oven
time.
But she had really fallen out of favour with the fiddly little frozen
discs of puff pastry.
It was a special party. Sarah-Jane had contacted dozens of people who
at some time in their lives had known The Doctor. Jo Grant-Jones was coming,
so were some of their long-retired UNIT friends. A lady called Tegan Jovanka
who usually lived in Australia was in London for the month on business
and was looking forward to the ‘reunion’.
Nobody was quite sure if The Doctor would come, or even WHICH Doctor,
as they had known several of her past regenerations. But it was going
to be a great party, anyway.
But sausage rolls and vol au vents, even the breaded cheesy jalapeno bites
Sarah-Jane had found in Iceland’s festive party aisle were small
fare for such an event. Rani had volunteered to make some more exotic
dishes. Samosas and bhajis were simple enough. There was also going to
be savoury fritters called pakora, a donut shaped savoury dumpling called
vada and a half dozen other recipes Mr Chandra had perfected over the
years in between being a teacher and headmaster. This was going to be
a buffet worthy of such exalted guests.
Or it would be if Sky could find the pastry brush.
“Isn’t that it?” Rani pointed to the shelf next to the
cooker where Sarah-Jane kept an impressive array of spices and herbs.
The pastry brush was stuck between the ground garlic and oregano.
“Well, how did it get there?” Sky asked as she snatched up
the brush and went to the sink to wash it before egging the samosas, now
waiting to be completed. “I wouldn’t put it in such a silly
place.”
“I don’t know,” Rani answered as she looked around for
the small, sharp knife she needed to finely chop onions for the bhajis.
She had last seen it on the drying rack, carefully point down after washing.
But it wasn’t there now. Nor was the serrated knife she had cut
the squares of samosa pastry with.
“Did you move the knives?” she asked.
“No, I’m busy egging the samosas,” Sky answered, holding
up the eggy brush as proof. “Is that them on top of the tea towel?”
Rani turned to see the two knives point down in the tea towel that was
hanging on a hook by the draining board.
“I didn’t put them in such a dangerous place,” Rani
insisted. She was absolutely certain Sky didn’t. She had been busy
around the island moving sausage rolls from the baking tray to the cooling
rack before she started the fiddly egging job that took up all her time.
Rani snatched up the knives and then put them down on the counter as the
oven timer pinged signalling that another batch of goodies were done.
She looked for the oven glove that SHOULD have been hanging on the oven
door.
Instead she found it on top of the toaster. Fortunately it wasn’t
switched on, but again Rani was sure neither she nor Sky would do anything
so stupidly dangerous.
She pulled mini deep dish pizzas, mini chicken and leek pies and a batch
of spicy mince pies out of the oven and put the next batch of savoury
pastries in, then turned to look for the knives again.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” she exclaimed as she turned
about and found both knives sticking out of a wrapped loaf of bread. “This
isn’t a joke. We’ve got loads of work to do and no time for
messing around.”
“I’m not doing anything,” Sky protested. “I was
just going to take the samosas to the fryer.”
“All right, but be careful. Dad doesn’t even let me do that
bit, now, at my age.”
Sky knew how to use the electronic fat fryer safely. She had already switched
it on to get hot enough for the very fast frying that samosas needed.
Or she thought she had. She put the first samosa in and it floated in
cold oil. She scooped it out and turned angrily.
“Why did you switch off the dryer?” she demanded.
“I never touched it,” Rani answered. “I’m too
busy to play silly games.”
“So am I,” Sky responded. “And I’ve got to wait,
now, to carry on with the frying.”
“Well… get the pigs in blankets out of the freezer and onto
a baking tray,” Rani said. “And the cocktail sausages.”
There were plenty of jobs to do, and no time to waste. It was starting
to feel much less fun, though, with more than a hint of resentment between
them. Neither was sure it wawsn’t the other who was moving things.
They went on working quietly either end of the island without the chatter
that had made it feel less like work.
“Sky, enough is enough!” Rani exclaimed suddenly. “I
put greaseproof paper on two trays for the stuff coming out of the fryer.
Now where are they? Why do you keep moving things?”
“I haven’t moved ANYTHING.” Sky answered in outraged
and dismayed tones. Tears pricked her eyes as she defended her own actions.
“You must have. Look, here they are, over by the fridge.”
Rani veritably stomped around the kitchen to get the trays just in time
to drain the excess fat from the samosas and then place the first of the
bhajis into the fryer.
“I DIDN’T mov the trays,” Sky insisted unhappily. “And
when did you become boss of this kitchen, anyway, telling me what I did
or didn’t do?”
She turned away, the tears of frustration now coming down her face. Rani
started to move towards her but she was distracted by the oven timer beeping
again, and by the time she had retrieved the baking she had to get the
first batch of bhajis out of the fryer. Sky was standing there doing nothing
while she was running around coping with everything.
And it wasn’t even HER party.
It wasn’t even HER kitchen.
Tears pricked her eyes, too. She felt hot and irritable and tired of the
hot kitchen smells in her nostrils. She stood almost motionless, looking
\across the island at Sky, feeling such deep bitter anger towards her.
When the kitchen door suddenly swung open admitting Luke and Pieter, something
of the hostile impasse broke. The two girls turned from looking at each
other to looking at the boys, home from Cambridge with Christmas smiles.
“How is my favourite sister?” Luke asked. On the one hand
it was the very worst question to ask at that moment. On the other it
was the best. Sky ran to him, crying openly. He held her gently while
the tears flowed, looking from Pieter to Rani who looked almost as close
to tears and as much in need of a reassuring hug.
Again, there was a long pause, this time broken by the oven timer. Pieter
grabbed the oven glove from the shelf and pulled out the trays of food.
He left them on the counter and looked up at the shelf above.
“Why did Sarah-Jane buy one of those absurd things?” he asked.
For a moment nobody understood what he meant, and in any case they couldn’t
see what it had to do with their problem.
“She didn’t,” Sky answered him as she looked at the
silly, grinning ‘Elf on the Shelf’ toy. “Even a couple
of years ago when they were in fashion mum said they were a ridiculous
idea. She certainly didn’t get one now everyone knows they’re
stupid.”
“Then what is it doing here?” Luke asked.
“I have no idea,” Rani said. “But if you want to get
rid of it don’t hold back on my account. I hate those things.”
“Me, too,” Sky commented. “They’re so creepy,
and not even anything to do with Christmas.”
Pieter reached towards the elf and then pulled his hand back quickly.
“It... Isn’t grinning, now.” For a moment he forgot
to speak English. “Es knurrt… I mean… it is snarling.
I felt like it was going to bite my hand.”
Now everyone was looking at the elf, and it definitely WAS snarling.
Luke grabbed the oven glove and a large cooking pot with a lid. He grabbed
the elf and pushed it into the pot, slamming down the lid.
“I'm taking this up to Mr Smith,” he said. “Let's see
what it REALLY is, because they were never marketed as malevolent demons.”
Luke ran from the kitchen with his hand pressed down on the pot lid. The
others took a few moments to follow him, Rani coming last after pausing
to turn off the cooker.
“Mr Smith, we need you,” Luke cried as he raced into the attic
room. On cue the alien computer hidden in the chimney breast opened up
with the usual fanfare.
“I could answer your inquiry with much less drama, Master Luke,”
K9 pointed out. “Good afternoon Master Pieter. Good afternoon Mistress
Rani and Mistress Sky. You are both experiencing heightened levels of
the ‘anger' hormones, oxytocin and vasopressin and the stress hormone,
cortisol.
“No kidding,” Rani responded with rather more sarcasm than
K9 could possibly interpret. Meanwhile, Mr Smith had fully opened up and
Luke dropped the Elf into his analytical receptacle.
“This is an ordinary toy made of various artificial fibres and olymers,”
Mr Smith concluded after thirty seconds or so. “However, it has
been infected by a Cyclonian Entity.”
“And what is one of those when it is at home?” Rani asked.
“Which it obviously isn’t in Sarah-Jane’s kitchen.”
“A non-corporeal but highly telekinetic existence which preys upon
sentient beings such as humans by creating situations which cause stress
and anger that they are then able to feed upon.”
“Telekinetic,” Rani queried. “You mean it was moving
things around in the kitchen to upset us and make us angry with each other?”
“That would be the meaning of the computer’s assessment, Mistress,”
K9 said.
“Affirmative,” Mr Smith added. “Fortunately, computers
and robot dogs cannot be angered, which is neutralising the effect. However,
as K9 has pointed out, Mistress Rani and Mistress Sky are still exuding
the hormones the entity craves.”
“Well, enough of THAT,” Rani declared. She turned to Sky and
hugged her. “I’m sorry I was mad at you.”
“I'm sorry, too,” Sky answered. “It was that horrible
thing tricking us both.”
“Just an annoying little entity.”
They both laughed. How absurd all the tension had been, after all.
“The entity is weakening,” Mr Smith reported. “It has
been starved of anger hormones.”
There was no obvious sign of anything happening, though Sky and Rani both
claimed to feel as if a weight was lifting from them. Certainly, all the
resentments they had harboured were gone. They were friends again.
“The entity is gone,” Mr Smith declared. The receptacle opened
and Luke picked up the Elf. The annoying grin was back, fixed on the plastic
face.
Luke dropped it on the floor.
“K9, disintegrate it,” he ordered. K9 obeyed with an “Affirmative,
Master Luke.” His laser was so fast and accurate there wasn’t
even a scorch mark on the carpet to show where the toy had been.
“We've still got tons to do in the kitchen,” Sky pointed out.
“You boys can help now you're here.”
“Yes, Mistress Rani,” Pieter answered her. Luke just smiled
and dared anything to spoil the festive mood again this afternoon.